Is still being assembled at a plant in Argentina. The recall following the unfortunate deaths of several test children has set our schedule back six months at least. But we are certain The Wrong Guide will be back and better than ever – and in full 16 bit color! While you wait – please proof-read these past Guides for accuracy and spelling. Go right now in your mind down Magazine street and enter the Rue de la Course, order a coffee and sit at a table, turn on the green bankers light and read and read. And If you have nothing to read – walk, don’t run, past Audubon Park, past the crazy joggers in the sticky heat, cross St. Charles, minding the trolleys, towards the Maple St. Book Store, so small and yet so big in the universe, even now, and find a book – one by Walker Percy perhaps – and take it to the Camillia Grill just down the street on Carrollton and eat and eat. You are stuffed! But don’t nap too long for the Rebirth Brass Band is playing tonight just round the corner and you will dance and dance.
Becoming famous for fifteen minutes is no longer an option these days – it will happen to you. Planning ahead will ensure that you use those fifteen minutes wisely. Perhaps all you want is for the whole sorted mess to go away as soon as possible. Do you have a spokesperson’ An attorney? Get One. God forbid, a short, intense, media circus fanned fame creeps up on you (there’s no way to tell how it will happen) and you are unable to control the barrage of merchandising, unauthorized biographies and talk shows that will capitalize on your fame. You may secretly enjoy the attention you are getting while you are being cruelly satirized on T-shirts and opening monologues, but shortly afterwards will come a deep depression when you are completely forgotten and not a penny richer. If you want your fame to grow, studies show that a poorly planned shot at fame is worse than plain obscurity. Who really wants to maintain their fame with celebrity volleyball tournaments or hosting “The Magic of Polypropylene” infomercials that air at 3 am? If you are not into pitching products now, why would you want to do it when you are famous? Unfortunately, statisticians have calculated that there are a very finite number of ways to stay famous without actually selling something or murdering someone. Fortunately you live in the glorious age of the internet where all the tools for self- promotion are right in front of you. There is no reason to leave the house anymore- selling out is as simple as Youtube and Paypal. It is now easier than ever for everyone to be completely sick of you before they even know who you are. But perhaps what you really want is a J.D. Salinger, Howard Hughes kinda fame. This is your world too – it’s germ-free, no·contact. Not sure if this is right for you’ Test your fame in virtual environments – be the David Bowie of Elf assassins in World or Warcraft or run for office as a Silly Party candidate in Second Life. So don’t wait for it – face the cameras now: sing, rant, melt-down. There has never been a better day than today to give birth, or create a new religion. Quote of the day:
I’d call it “freak-a-zoid” but that’s just me. An Unfinished Guide to an Unfinished City Overview How big is it? It is so big it doesn’t fit on any maps. Sherman Oaks is in L.A.,but try finding it on a map – it isn’t there. I needed to go to Sherman Oaks to visit my brother for a week, but on the two maps I bought of L.A., Sherman Oaks is missing. Each ends somewhere just north of the Hollywood hills. Beyond that, I am told, is a place called the Valley, where Sherman Oaks is – a place that is very much a part of L.A. I know this because recently the Valley tried to leave L.A. and become it’s own city. From what I gathered from news accounts, it was tired of being ignored by the rest of L.A. and since it has been left off the maps the Valley may be on to something.
Good, good…and you? Fine, Fine. Anything good coming up soon? We should have a new edition by 2011 and a new video. What in blazes is taking so long? My addiction to Goldfish Crackers – retards the creative process…and I have a life. So what exactly do you mean by “The Wrong Guide”? You know that time when you make a mistake – go the wrong way – and you end up in a place even better than the one you set out to find? And then you try to go back and figure out how you got there, but you can’t? It’s about that kinda thing. It’s a guide to the unrepeatable. That’s exactly what it means…but I could be wrong. Still, it sounds kinda negative? I’m not a fan of the words “right·’ or “correct.” All guides are full of it, really. This one is going to be more honest. This is the Anti-Dr. Phil. Smooth Peanut Butter or Crunchy? Smooth. Favorite T.V. show this season? Anything with dogs And Battlestar Galactica. Best Interview? The Wrong Guide Interview: The Wrong Guide. Excellent questions. Thanks, but you wrote them. Hey that’s rightl  Joke with obscured punchine seen written on audience bleacher railing at Obama Inaugural. photographed by David Bergman
Yui is visiting Columbus, Ohio while her dogs, Tom and Shampoo, remain home in Khon Kaen, Thailand – but they keep in touch everyday with Skype.
Mom’s Garden from James Quilty on Vimeo. It’s spring in Ohio – where I am right now. This is a video tour of my Mom’s 2007 garden in Rocky River, Ohio that I made last spring.
Available catalog only: Lowe’s Home Improvement :: The Katrina Cottage |
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